S’up peeps! As there’s only two sleeps to go until the bigman pays us all a visit I’ve turned my hand to song writing and re-mixed the Fairytale of New York to reflect my time in NYC so far. To get the full Christmas extravaganza experience please listen to the original below whilst reading the new improved words (to be honest it’s rubbish without the music). Admittedly it’s a classic in it’s own right but change must be embraced.
It was in Brooklyn babe
In the dive bar
An old man said to me: you’ve got a little one
And then they sang a song
The rare old double loo
I turned my face away but my bum was still in view
Got an unlucky one
Came in as I showed my bum
I´ve got a feeling
This year´s got more moments like that to come
So happy Christmas
I love you everyone
I can see a better time
Where all my blogs aren’t about poo
They got pools big as malls
They’re so fat they break stalls
But the wind goes right through you
It’s no place for the old
When you first took my hand as we boarded the plane
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me
I was handsome now I’m hairy
I looked pretty scary, when the tramp took my money he gave it me back
Sinatra was swinging Luce and I were singing
I pissed on a corner
Then danced through the night.
And the phantom NY pool pooer is still pooing away
And the lifeguards are shouting out
get out the pool
I’m a bum I’m a gimp
I’m a chimp with a limp
what is that on your head, you look a twat they all said
You scumbag you jerk
You regularly get murked
Happy Christmas your arse I pray god it´s our last.
And the blank NY CD salesman are still selling away
And the pregnant hobo’s
lose weight every day
Gerry could have been someone
if it wasn’t for you, you plum
You took his dreams from him
when he first met you
You lost some children babe
that wasn’t in new york
u left them all alone
that’s not entire-ly true…
But the boys a complete an utter ass, still smiling away
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought they talked english over here 